A Sign Not a Reward
Cryptic clues, mystic messages, and signs of the times and/or the apocalypse, all guaranteed sighted on the desolate streets of Deep South Austin (Ford Oaks/Tanglewood Forest/Stinson District, to be more geographically precise — still not sure where one ends and the others start), all but one within easy walking distance of my house. (Or should I say “bustling streets of Deep South Austin”? Honestly, they’re neither, but I figured I needed an adjective for color.) Some warrant more explanation than others; will do what I can. Feel free to help.
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Divine Healing Technician Training manual, found (if I remember right) atop a sewer grate near Southwest Christian church, corner of Old Manchaca and Lynnbrook. Written note inside: “Alert: Strong drink is for men only…this note may contain the effect of a very strong drink.” Excerpt from text: “You are not going to get God to change His mind to agree with you. You must change your mind to agree with him.”
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Lying in someone’s lawn at corner of Gail and Womack, apparently having been knocked over by a vehicle that may or may not have left a piece of its body behind: “SLOW DOWN / KIDS AND PETS AT PLAY”. Hey, at least it didn’t leave a piece of their bodies behind. I hope.
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Two doors down from my house, pointing at the house in between us (and directed, I believe, not primarily at the house’s current resident, who I know, but her landlord, who I don’t.) Pink sign reads, in part: “DOUG (YANKEE FROM NEW YORK) tried to talk me into taking money from his slum lord in return for my property Gladys Kravits (Big Little woman) is sticking her scam nose in everyone’s business. And I am sure she has been undermining me. I live by THE CASTLE DOCTRINE ☆☆☆☆☆ ☰” (Gladys Kravitz was Samantha and Darren’s neighbor on Bewitched, if you’re not up on vintage TV trivia.)
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Sheet of spiral-notebook paper, in middle of street at Casata micro-homes complex: “You Are A VERAY sweet Person! I love you just the way: You Are! My name is ‘Bill’ If I can help you please just ask!!” Billy Joel, you probably remember, actually sang “Just the Way You Are.”
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On the sidewalk beside a building that has been a dance studio (Dance By Carly), a karate studio (New Era Martial Arts), and apparently some kind of covert place of worship, sometimes maybe all at the same time, at intersection of Old Manchaca, Riddle and (from its rear entrance) Allred. The “other venues” could include the Americana country roadhouse Sam’s Town Point a minute or two further up Allred, or the dozen or so bars on Manchaca south of Slaughter. I assume this sign was put up by whoever ran the church, but you never really know.
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On east side of Old Manchaca, probably around Drew or Sanders. Don’t know if they ever sold the plow. At one point I also remember a cow (which rhymes with plow) on sale for $1000. I don’t think it was on quite the same property, but it was definitely somewhere near there.
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At corner of Old Manchaca and regular Manchaca, same corner as Drifters Social Coffee and Cocktails/Pickle Hub (as in pickleball) pub.
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Same intersection, just a few steps south, closer to South Austin Beer Garden. (You can see the same marquis sign, from a different angle on a different day, behind that metal box above with the Ojay sticker.) I’m not sure whether some (b)andit or (b)urglar stole all the B’s, or they just ran out. And I assume the Z’s replace 2’s, unless they replace more 7’s. Also, if you get on the cur’s bad side, is he liable to bite you?
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Out on the road today I saw an anime poster on a pickup truck. Was surprised to see those two consumer demographics (subcultures?) overlap, though somebody suggested that their common denominator might well be “porn.” Saddle Creek neighborhood on Old Manchaca east of Manchaca, near Cove Apartments and the Lower 48 bar.
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Further north on Manchaca, green Honda Civic in front of my car. Possibly the funniest bumper sticker I’ve seen since I moved to Austin. Though how many people get it, I wonder? The song is 46 years old!
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In the middle of a vacant lot field on Oak Valley, close and parallel to the treeline. Maybe 12 feet high, 55 feet wide (sorry I didn’t bring a tape measure and stink at estimating distances), five feet deep, with four-foot-tall letters, plus thick electrical cords hooked to the bottom. Retired from high school football, is my guess. Been there for several months, and I still have no idea what exactly is being brought home.
Eliminated for Reasons of Space, 5 July 2025